What Is Christian Counseling? When Faith and Emotional Healing Come Together

Have you ever gone through something emotionally difficult and wondered where your faith fits into all of it?

Maybe you are anxious and praying isn't making the anxiety disappear.

Maybe you know you need to forgive someone, but you're still deeply hurt.

Maybe you love Jesus, believe what the Bible says and still feel stuck.

I think sometimes Christians believe we should be able to pray our way out of every emotional struggle.

Prayer is powerful. Absolutely.

But God also created us with a brain, a nervous system, emotions, relationships, memories and a body. All of those things affect us.

This is one of the reasons I love Christian counseling. We don't have to leave our faith at the counseling-room door.

So, What Is Christian Counseling?

Christian counseling brings our emotional health and our faith together.

Depending on the counselor, a session may include many of the same tools you would encounter in other types of counseling: processing emotions, looking at thought patterns, learning coping skills, understanding relationships, exploring your past or identifying unhealthy beliefs.

But we don't stop there.

We can also ask:

Where is God in this?

What does Scripture say?

Is there an emotional wound that needs healing?

What am I believing about myself that isn't true?

What am I believing about God?

Is there someone I need to forgive?

Is there something God wants me to see differently?

For me, this is where Christian counseling becomes so much more than simply putting a Bible verse on top of traditional counseling.

It is caring for the whole person: mind, body and spirit.

You Can Love Jesus and Still Need Help

I really want Christians to understand this.

Struggling emotionally doesn't automatically mean something is wrong with your faith.

You can love Jesus and have anxiety.

You can trust God and grieve deeply.

You can believe in forgiveness and still have wounds that need to heal.

You can know Scripture and still struggle with negative thoughts.

You can pray and still need a counselor.

Sometimes I think we unintentionally make things harder by adding shame to what we're already experiencing.

Now we're not only anxious...we're anxious about being anxious!

Or we're hurting and wondering why we haven't healed yet. Dear friend, give yourself some grace.

Sometimes healing takes time.

What Happens in Christian Counseling?

This will vary quite a bit depending on the counselor.

Some Christian counselors primarily use traditional counseling methods while incorporating Christian beliefs and Scripture. Others may also include prayer, spiritual formation, inner healing or other faith-based practices.

This is why I encourage you to ask questions before choosing a Christian counselor.

"Christian counselor" can mean very different things to different people. You want to know how that person actually works.

For example, Christian counseling might include:

• Looking at negative thought patterns and replacing lies with truth

• Processing grief, trauma or painful experiences

• Learning healthier boundaries

• Understanding relationship patterns

• Working through forgiveness

• Learning tools for anxiety and emotional regulation

• Prayer

• Scripture

• Renewing your mind

• Exploring your identity in Christ

• Inner healing

• Learning how to hear and recognize God's voice

• Exploring spiritual issues that may be affecting your emotional life

Not every person needs every one of these things. That is important too.

Good counseling shouldn't be a formula. It should meet you where you are.

Sometimes We Need to Find the Root

One of the things I have learned through more than two decades of counseling is that what brings someone into counseling isn't always the real issue.

Maybe you come in because you can't stop worrying.

Okay.

But why is your brain constantly expecting something bad to happen?

Maybe you're struggling in relationships.

Why?

Maybe you keep choosing people who aren't emotionally available.

Why?

Maybe you know something isn't true intellectually, but emotionally you still believe it.

Why?

I like looking underneath the symptom.

Sometimes there is an old wound, a trauma. a belief you formed when you were very young.

Sometimes there is unforgiveness or your nervous system has learned to stay on high alert.

Sometimes there may be a spiritual component worth exploring.

And sometimes it is several things mixed together. We are complicated people!

Christian counseling gives us room to explore all of those pieces instead of assuming every problem has one simple answer.

Renewing Your Mind Is More Than Positive Thinking

Romans 12:2 tells us:

"Be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

I love this Scripture because transformation and our thoughts are connected.

But renewing your mind isn't simply repeating a Bible verse while ignoring what is happening underneath.

Sometimes we need to slow down and look at what we actually believe.

Maybe the thought is:

I'm not good enough.

Everyone eventually leaves.

Something bad is going to happen.

I have to keep everyone happy.

I'm responsible for everyone.

God is disappointed in me.

Those beliefs can quietly shape our lives. A good Christian counselor can help you recognize those thoughts, understand where they came from and begin replacing what isn't true with what is.

There is a big difference between knowing truth and learning to actually live from it.

What About Prayer?

Yes!

Prayer should absolutely be part of Christian counseling.

And I don't mean simply opening the session with a quick prayer and then moving on.

Prayer can become part of the healing process itself.

There are times when talking about something is helpful.

And there are other times when inviting Jesus into that wounded place can bring something different.

Depending on the counselor's training and approach, prayer may be used to seek God's wisdom, work through forgiveness, explore emotional wounds, challenge false beliefs or simply sit quietly in God's presence.

But prayer should never be used to pressure someone, bypass emotions or pretend a serious mental-health issue doesn't exist.

Sometimes we just need prayer.

Sometimes we need practical tools.

Sometimes we need medical care.

And sometimes we need all three.

I don't see those things as competing with one another.

How Do You Find the Right Christian Counselor?

Please don't choose someone simply because the word Christian appears on their website.

Ask questions.

What is their training?

What kind of counseling do they provide?

How do they incorporate faith?

Do they pray during sessions?

How do they use Scripture?

Do they understand trauma?

What do they believe about emotional healing?

Do they stay within their scope of practice?

And perhaps one of the most important questions after you meet with them:

Do you feel safe with this person?

You need to be able to talk about the things you're ashamed of, confused about, angry about or afraid to say out loud without fearing judgement and condemnation.

A client told me that a past Christian counselor told him that God had divorced him because of sin.

WHAT?!

That person was trained as a biblical counselor but did not understand the grace God gave us through Jesus. Yes, we need to address sin, but to tell a struggling person that God doesn't want them? It makes my heart heavy and to be honest I have had to forgive that person a few times. That person should not be in ministty until he gets his theology corrected.

A counseling relationship requires trust.

You don't need a counselor who is shocked by your humanity.

You need someone who can sit with you in it and help you move toward healing.

Christian Counseling Isn't About Becoming Perfect

Thank goodness!

Only Jesus gets that title.

The goal isn't to become a person who never struggles, never gets anxious, never has a negative thought and handles every relationship perfectly.

The goal is growth. Freedom. Healing. Transformation.

Becoming more aware of what is happening inside of you and learning healthier ways to respond.

And, hopefully, growing closer to God in the process.

Sometimes that growth happens quickly. Other times God seems to work one little layer at a time.

One belief, memory, boundary, prayer all bring your closer to freedom.

If you have been struggling and wondering whether Christian counseling might help, perhaps the question isn't:

"Shouldn't I be able to handle this myself?"

Maybe the better question is:

"What could change if I finally had some help with this?"

You don't have to have everything figured out before you walk through the door.

That's kind of the point.

Three Questions You May Still Have

Is Christian counseling only for people with serious problems?

Not at all. Some people come because they're in crisis, but others simply recognize a pattern in their life they want to change. Counseling can also be a place for personal growth, spiritual growth, relationship issues, life transitions or simply understanding yourself better.

Will a Christian counselor tell me what the Bible says I should do?

A good counselor shouldn't be controlling your decisions. Christian counseling can help you explore biblical truth, wisdom, your emotions and your circumstances while helping you discern your own next steps. Be cautious of anyone who uses spiritual authority to make major life decisions for you. Sorry, if that happens, RUN!

Do I have to choose between Christian counseling and traditional mental-health treatment?

No. Depending on your needs, Christian counseling can work hand in hand with psychotherapy.

Faith and appropriate professional care don't have to compete. Sometimes caring well for the whole person means using more than one kind of support.

If you're considering Christian counseling, take some time to find someone whose training, beliefs and approach fit what you're looking for.

And don't be afraid to ask questions. You are inviting someone into some pretty tender places in your life.

Choose wisely.

Then give yourself permission to begin. Sometimes asking for help is where things finally start to change.

And to help support you on your counseling journey, check out my Counseling Companion books here and here. Side note, I wrote the first Counseling Companion book and then had a traumatic experience happen soon after.

I used my own book in my counseling process and cried tears of joy that the Lord asked me to write it, knowing He was preparing my support before the trauma happened. It really was a valuable tool for me and I hope it is for you too!

Cheering you on!